Dance at the wedding

A while back I heard a friend of mine flirting with a girl that I knew he was into. I could only overhear the conversation but he was going on and on about how he won't dance and he especially won't dance at a wedding because it’s awkward. He was a bit bigger of a guy and he even mentioned that as a factor for his awkwardness. I knew immediately that he had lost that girl's attention. Hearing him talk reminded me of my cousin's wedding that I went to many years ago. I was still married at the time and was going through something quite painful. Maybe one of the worst things I had ever experienced. It’s personal enough of a thing that I have to be a bit cryptic and it doesn’t just involve me, but it truly shook my world up in a way I had not seen before.

My cousin had dated her boyfriend for years and after a long relationship had decided to get married. Everyone in our family knew her boyfriend quite well and he was indeed the right fit for her. They had a fantastic relationship and everyone in my extended family was happy for them. The wedding was in Colorado at a beautiful location and everything was perfect. The bride and groom seemed genuinely thrilled by the day. I have discussed this before but I truly won the genetic lottery with both sides of my family. They are salt of the earth, real genuine people who want nothing but the best for each other. So we were happy to see each other. The ceremony went off perfectly and was the joyous occasion it should have been. That weekend I really had my game face on because while I was in the middle of something truly awful, I didn’t want anyone to know or to take away from my cousin's day.

Once the ceremony was over there was a sizable reception planned and it was going to be a celebration. My family comes from stoic German stock and while they deeply care for each other, just aren’t the most outwardly emotional family. I always joke that I get my fire from my mom and my raw stubbornness from my Dad. This was my dad's side of the family and everyone sat on the sidelines and caught up while the DJ played music.

As I sat and looked around while in the middle of my own pain, it just seemed sad to me that the dance floor was empty. This was a celebration. Two people that absolutely belonged together had gotten married. In my mind, I was going through one of the worst things imaginable and suddenly nothing mattered anymore. Suddenly I just didn’t care about looking dumb or people judging me. I don’t remember the specifics any longer and I’m sure this is through my own lens and it could have happened differently. But I got up and danced. I danced like no one was watching. I let go. It didn’t feel like there was much to hold on to anyway, so I didn’t hold on. I decided there was nothing left to lose so I was going to DANCE and celebrate my cousin. I remember my now ex-wife joining me. One by one my overly calm family got on that dance floor and cut some rug. We all danced the night away laughing and having a blast. I even saw my dad and sister get on the dance floor for a while, something I would have bet against ever happening.

There was so much joy, so much laughter. So many memories. I’m sure there would have been as many wonderful memories without all the dancing and I sure could be remembering all this wrong and certainly, someone else would have kicked off the dancing if I had not, but in that small window of time I made all that pain vanish and I had just a pure wonderful moment with my family. All the problems fell away just like sweat dripping down. I was able to see other people find joy in the movement of the music and the fellowship of family. It will always be one of my most cherished memories. Had I not led the way would all that dancing have happened? Who knows?

So back to my friend’s conversation with the girl he blew it with. After the girl left I went over and told him as only a guy friend can “You blew it dude. All girls like to dance and honestly you should too. Life is too short not to dance at the wedding” thinking of my own experience. Let me tell you, if you are a bigger guy then you should let go even more. Trust me, a big goofy guy having a blast on the dance floor and not caring how he looks is attractive! But you should do it for you. Dance to breathe the air. Dance to feel alive. Dance to show others it's ok. Dance because all we truly have is this moment. Dance because life ends in a blink. But no matter what, dance at the wedding!